i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
