he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So vagazzling was a success
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
