youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
