Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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