i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
