I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize