Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just had sex on a roof
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize