Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
