I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
