Just mADE A PArabola og urine
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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