Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
