Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
