The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize