i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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