Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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