What a fucking waste of an outfit
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
