You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
