So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
