terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
