Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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