Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
