Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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