only you would photoshop your dick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
