I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
