So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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