And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So squirting runs in the family.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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