your parents love me but you hate me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
