just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
