There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
