I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
