you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
