My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
