I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
