that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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