Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
