just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
