she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
