We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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