My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
