We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
