I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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