Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
