well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
