so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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