so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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