Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
