I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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