there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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