Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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