Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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