Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize