so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
