Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
