it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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