She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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