Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
